Selected principles of THE SEX CODE [155]

ETHICS AND SEX

The concept of secular morality

1. Though non-believers cannot accept religion, they acknowledge right and wrong. They wish to make the best of themselves, and out of common sympathy also wish the best for their fellow humans. Without any supposed divine command or revelation, they accept that human acts are moral, immoral or morally neutral.  They perceive that this indicates the existence, in some sense that is real, of an objective standard of ethics (referred to in this book as 'the ethical code') whose sole base is in human reason and the human conscience.

 

Secular sexual morality

2. In the sexual field we all have a duty to be good, that is to act morally. This is  part of our general duty, laid down by the ethical code, to act morally in every area of our life. Because the ethical code requires us to strive at all times and in all ways to be virtuous, it follows that we should strive to be virtuous in our sexual life.  Indeed, since sexual wickedness can cause untold harm and distress, the duty to be good is particularly strong in this area.

 

The duty of ethical understanding

3. No one can be sure of acting morally in a given situation, or responding with moral correctness to the act of another, unless they know and understand what is called for by the ethical code. Therefore we should try to absorb its principles to the fullest extent of our capacity. This we may call the duty of ethical understanding.

 

The duty of ethical action

4. We should comply with the ethical code not only directly but indirectly. It guides our own sexual acts and also our response to the sexual acts of others. What we must not do ourselves, we must not countenance others doing.  What it is our duty to do, it is our duty to help others do also. All this may be called the duty of ethical action.

 

The present Code

5. Because the ethical code cannot be known in precise detail its prescriptions may be unclear in  particular cases, and cannot be free from dispute.  The present text (referred to in this book as 'the Code') attempts to formulate the ethical code, so far as it relates specifically to human sexuality, in a form most likely to produce certainty and command agreement in the modern western secular culture. 

 

Interpreting the Code

 

6. It is important to bear in mind when reading the Code that its effect is intended to be cumulative. Each precept is subject to limitations stated elsewhere in the Code, and also by precepts of the ethical code not specific to sexual matters. The Code is concerned only with morality, and pays no regard to law or aesthetics. In the Code references to acts include omissions.

 

ACCEPTING OUR SEXUALITY

 

The duty of sex‑acceptance

 

7. Since we are all sexual beings we should look upon our own or another's sexual organs, functions and desires positively, with welcoming acceptance that they exist and work (the duty of sex acceptance).  We should never look on them negatively, with dislike, regret or contempt. This does not mean that remediable sexual disorders ought to be accepted as they are, or that immoral sexual behaviour should be tolerated.

 

Sex-guilt

 

8. Because of negative conditioning, guilt about the mere existence of sexuality (sex guilt) is endemic in western culture.  Yet the duty of sex-acceptance means we should eschew this guilt in ourselves. Moreover we are under a duty not to implant or nurture guilt in another person, particularly a child, because of their sexual organs, functions or desires, or because of their sexual acts where these are not immoral. When we encounter such guilt we should where possible help to alleviate it.

 

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Nudity and exhibitionism

 

10. The duty of  sex‑acceptance requires us to tolerate the sight of the nude human body, even where because of the subject's advanced age or other factors it seems to us aesthetically unpleasing. We should refuse to countenance prudishness about the body or its functions, which can be harmful psychologically.  On the other hand we need to recognise the effects of past negative conditioning, and not knowingly outrage another person by the sight or sound of any extreme sexual activity or display.

 

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RESPECTING OUR SEXUALITY

The duty of sex‑respect

 

12. Since sexuality is the source of all human life, and is of profound emotional concern to all human beings in the living of their lives, we should treat our own or another's sexual organs, functions and desires with respect, even reverence (the duty of sex-respect). We should therefore not commit any act that degrades or trivialises them.

 

The right to sexual privacy

 

13. It is immoral, as contravening the right to privacy and the duty of sex‑respect, for anyone, without the consent of the person in question, to gaze at or listen to the sexual activity of another person, whether directly or by means of a recording or listening device.

 

Sex with animals

 

14. It is contrary to the duty of sex-respect for a human being to have sex with an animal.

 

FULFILLING OUR SEXUAL NATURES

 

The duty of sex-fulfilment

 

15. Because sexuality is an essential and vital part of the human constitution, we should develop and fulfil our sexual nature throughout life (the duty of sex-fulfilment). This does not mean that remediable sexual disorders ought to be accepted as they are, or that immoral sexual behaviour should be tolerated.  However it does follow that we should help and encourage others, particularly the young, to achieve fulfilment in the sexual field as in any other area of life. Equally we should not deny old people sexual fulfilment or denigrate their pursuit of it. We should not condemn any sexual relationship on the ground of a disparity in the ages of the partners.

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Celibacy and chastity

 

17. Because they contravene the duty of sex-fulfilment, enduring celibacy and chastity are undesirable in the way that any other failure to fulfil one's human potential is undesirable. This does not mean that young persons should be hurried into sexual experience before they are physically or emotionally ready.

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SEXUAL ACTS

 

Types of sexual act

 

21. Since the primary purpose of our sexual organs, functions and desires is reproduction of the species, contraceptive - free vaginal intercourse between a fertile male and female may be regarded as the primary sexual act.  However healthy sexuality goes much wider than this, and no type of sexual act is to be condemned on the ground that it departs from the primary act. 

Consent to sexual acts

22. We ought not to touch another person sexually without their consent, whether explicit or reasonably inferred. Nor should we do any other act towards a person sexually (such as showing them a pornographic picture or exposing their nakedness) which is out of scale with any indication they have given regarding their willingness for this. Special considerations apply where the person is too young, or is otherwise unable, to give informed consent.

 

Sexual harassment

 

23. We should not make sexual overtures to any person beyond a point where the recipient indicates refusal, disapproval or distress.  If for any reason the other is or may feel coerced or otherwise subservient, we need to realise that the signs of rejection may be faint. That does not mean they are to be disregarded.

 

Solitary sex

 

24. A sexual act (such as masturbation) is not immoral because done in solitude. Since young people are often ready for sex before they are mature enough to enter a sexual relationship with another person, solitary sex may for them be the most suitable form of early sexual activity and should not be condemned or discouraged by parents or others in authority.  However, solitary sex may encourage narcissism, and lacks the richness that comes from a loving relationship with another.  Where the subject is within a pair-bond, solitary sex may be immoral if it indicates a rejection of the partner.

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Harmful sexual acts

27.‑(1) Where it is known or suspected by either party to a prospective sex‑act that one or other is or may be infected with any sexually transmissible disease it is their duty to ensure that adequate precautions are taken against infection.

 

(2) If a person knows that an infected person is likely to contravene the previous rule (for example because they have themselves contracted disease from that person) it is their duty to help ensure that the infected person does not transmit the disease to others.

 

(3) It is immoral for a person who knows or suspects that they are infected with any sexually transmissible disease to have sex with another person without first informing them of the fact.

 

(4) It is immoral to have sex with another person by a method or technique that may cause either party physical or mental injury.

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THE YOUNG

 

Parents' duty to rear their child

 

47.‑(1) The natural parents of a child should accept and discharge their responsibility to rear it unless circumstances render this impracticable.

 

(2) It is the duty of the persons rearing a child to give it a secure and loving upbringing till adulthood.

 

(3) If the child cannot be reared by its natural parents it is best that it be reared by a couple who are as near as possible in age and characteristics to the natural parents. To be reared by a lone parent, or by two persons of the same sex, may succeed.  It is more likely however to be less than the best, since the child needs a close and extended view of rearers of both sexes in order to make sense of its world.

 

Sex education

 

48. It is the duty of the persons rearing a child to ensure that it undergoes whatever sex education may be necessary to enable it progressively to learn the facts about human sexuality, and eventually to carry out its duties of ethical understanding and ethical action. Subject to this, a child-rearer who has not been proved to lack a genuine intention to promote the welfare of the child has the right to decide what it is to be taught about sex.

 

Consent by young people to sexual acts

 

49. Apparent consent by a youngster to a sexual act with an older person is morally ineffective, and therefore counts as no consent, where the youngster is too immature to understand the nature and quality  of the act, that is its physiological, emotional and ethical significance. Apparent consent by a youngster to a sexual act with an age-mate is however to be treated as morally effective. A test for whether a youngster who apparently consents to a sexual act really understands its nature and quality is whether, when maturity is attained, he or she would be likely to regret having committed the act.

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